sailorette’s diary - a diary writen by a sailorette for her loved ones to read after returning safely home from sea

Words cannot describe.

A recent conversation led me to investigate deeper the triumph of the Victorian era - The Sewer.

It all began with the “Great Stink” that ensued through London in 1858, killing off over 14,000 londoners. During this time, a Sir Joseph Bazalgette took over a senior engineer on the Metropolitan Commission of Sewers. His predesessor had died from work related causes and Bazalgette realised he needed to make a drastic change to the way sewage was removed from the city, or else he too would fall under the dark veil of the ‘Great Stink’. So 318 million bricks later the wondrous underground tunnels of the victorian sewage system were born. They diverted human waste from overground rivers and poorly built sewers that were making such a stink, and built embankments (hence the name “embankment”), to conceal them even futher.

Such is the brilliance of the victorian engineering, a new breed of cave-walkers have formed that meet and hike through these sewer systems around the UK.

But then my investigation led me to the other side of the world - just have a look at the Tokyo sewage system!

How many times have you seen something that sounds great but when you actually try to use it, it falls flat on its face? This is what I got when I heard of the site noisemapping made by DEFRA (Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs).

DEFRA went around mapping the noise levels of London and collated the data into an interactive online map. What a great idea and potential tool to find the calmer, forgotten areas of the big city.

But that’s as far as they get. After this its a barrage of bad navigation, bad layout, bad colours and bad info-graphics. This is what you see when you type in my Hackney Postcode.

BAD.

Perhaps they should get in touch with Simon Elvins. His print version is a step in the right direction, using raised dots so you can feel the quieter parts of the city.

Some of you may know that I’m a great big wobbly fan of barbapapa. So when I noticed that this bright yellow store called Beard Papa’s had opened opposite where I work, a very large grin spread across my beardless face.

From what I’ve gathered, Beard Papa’s originated in a little village outside Osaka, Japan. Beard Papa sold tasty creampuff pastries from his little shop. Then one day he decided he’d create a new creampuff recipe and “make it just as fluffy and loveable as my beard.”

I’m going to try one today!

Beard Papa’s Website

“If its a nice city maybe we should move here. It’s only 45 minutes away from London.”
“We’re still in london honey.”

Upminster. A quiet, usual suburb of london. Except.
Delta Force. A popping, netted warzone in Upminster.
First paintballing experience for me. A few pointers to take away.
–
DO
it in summer
go willing to spend alot of money
organise a large group
bulk buy bullets
bring a spare change of clothes, shoes and socks.
bring gloves
bring water
run crazy at people when you’ve ran out of bullets, demanding them to surrender
run

DON’T
wear a hat
bring lunch
stay still
tag team

Another bike spotting incident this morning, or actually more like a ‘walking in with nico pushing my bike’ spotting incident:

A guy cycling down the road, in hackney, singing reggae really loudly, with a kitchen sink over his head.

“Only in Hackney!”

The thing about london is it can be a rather bitter and cynical city, but every now and again a little piece of brilliance sneaks out. Like today.

I was cycling in to work and got stuck behind a garbage truck. Normally I would have wrinkled my nose. Today I grinned. In the back were two blow-up sex dolls, a guy and a girl, having plastic blow-doll sex.

Brilliant!